This is Lindsay, my force of a human

I wanted to write a bit about my partner Lindsay Aranoff and why I’m so grateful we found each other. I could talk about the stuff you could discover from the internet (inaugural Global Shaper with the World Economic Forum, curator of a TEDxKids event in Canada, co-founder of a company with the CTO of Amazon), but you could find all that out yourself.

Lindsay looks for the chance to fight for the underdog and people that have less power. Sometimes that’s working to bring mobile medical care to people that don’t have it. Sometimes it’s reminding car drivers not to cut off bikers. Sometimes it’s standing up for a clerk when a customer is yelling at them. Sometimes it’s fostering dogs. A lot of the time, it’s working to make sure that everyone has access to basic human rights. 

We make a good team. Lindsay is a woman of action; I’m more of a man of planning. When I sometimes fall victim to analysis paralysis–what should we eat tonight or do this weekend?–Lindsay often just takes a leap to try something and see if it works. On the other hand, if there’s some administrative paperwork that needs to happen, that’s my time to shine. We fit together so well that early on, I said it was like the universe created us for each other. It still feels like that.

We especially love getting out into nature and hiking together. Lindsay introduced me to the Adirondack High Peaks, and I introduced her to my favorite rock in the hills of Eastern Kentucky. Getting out into nature helps us both stay grounded and we savor the ability to get into green tree tunnels. It’s fun to walk down mountain trails while we talk about what schools should really teach people besides just reading or math. Education needs an overhaul, and we talked through all the courses we would want in a curriculum–and how experiential learning would be better. What real-world life skills do you wish *you* had a chance to learn earlier?

In an emergency, Lindsay is the person you want in your corner. When a dog we were fostering had an allergic reaction, she carried it out into the street barefoot, flagged down a car (during a pandemic), and got the dog to a vet in minutes. Another time we got a flat tire at dusk in the rain on the New Jersey Turnpike. By the time I’d figured out how to get the spare tire out of the back, Lindsay had help on the way and had already scheduled an appointment to replace the tire for the next morning. 

Lindsay has also helped me recognize the dynamics of power and how to be a better, more intentional person. She regularly reminds me that the way the world works for me is not the way it works for most people, and how the world needs to work better for everyone. Where my communication is often too soft, Lindsay will speak frankly. We operate so differently, yet it’s fascinating how we invite each other to grow.

Lindsay is Canadian and this week we’re heading to Toronto, Canada with our dog Rojo. Lindsay moved to Washington, DC and supported me during a stressful job while building her own company, designing the entire interior of our rowhouse, and acclimatizing to a new city. This was during a pandemic that made our arrangement last a year longer than we expected due to COVID. All of that is code for: she’s a fierce lady that I hope some of you get to meet.

Now I’m excited to spend time with some of Lindsay’s friends, family, and favorite dogs in Toronto. I’m still decompressing after leaving my job, but please reach out if you’re in the Toronto area. We would welcome a dog walk with friends at Cherry Beach.

Some terrible personal news

Cindy Cutts, my wife and best friend, passed away earlier this week. While I was traveling for work recently, Cindy went to visit her family in Omaha, Nebraska. On Sunday, while enjoying time with family, Cindy started having trouble breathing. Her family quickly called 911 and paramedics took Cindy to the hospital, but Cindy lost and never regained consciousness. She passed away on Monday.

Cindy didn’t want any callouts on my blog, so I always just referred to her as my wife. But I’d like to tell you something about her. She loved her family and her cats, Emmy and Ozzie. She danced in the Bay Area with a fantastic troupe of kick-ass women for years. She ran a half-marathon once and then decided that she never needed to do that again. She sang in show choir in high school and could still rock a karaoke room with an Adele song. She wrestled with anxiety and depression at times, as so many people do. We should all talk about mental health more to lessen the stigma for other people who think they’re alone when they’re not.

Cindy enjoyed falling asleep to Parks and Rec. She liked re-reading William Gibson’s novel Pattern Recognition. Cindy made quilts for her family and crocheted scarves. She kept me healthy and on track and moving in the right direction, and I paid her back with occasional head rubs. Cindy was whip smart, with a particular gift with languages, from French to Chinese. I tackled small details like paperwork and license plates and paying bills, but she was the one who looked at the big picture. Cindy was the person who said “Let’s go try this Google thing for a while.”

Cindy and I knew each other for 23 years and we were married for 18 years, which is no small thing. I’m unmanned and unmoored without her. I’m just going to tackle the details in front of me and count on time and family and friends to pull me back on course at some point.

If anyone wants to send flowers, the service is at Heafey-Hoffmann-Dworak-Cutler at 7805 W Center Rd in Omaha on Saturday, March 10th, starting at 3pm.

For the people who didn’t get to meet her, Cindy looked like a movie star:

Cindy movie star

She loved hanging with her family, like her sister and niece and nephew:

Cindy with her family

She had the best smile and amazing green eyes:

Cindy smiling

And her cat Ozzie adored her as much as I did:

Cindy and Ozzie

Please give your friends or family a hug for me. We never know how much time we have with someone, and sometimes it’s all too short.

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