The best business card ever
Okay, this is my favorite business card of all time:
In case you can’t read the image, it says:
|
USED CARS -- LAND -- WHISKEY -- MANURE -- NAILS FLY SWATTERS -- RACING FORMS -- BONGOS ENTERPRISES, Un-Ltd. |
|
| Wars Fought | Stud Service |
| Revolutions Started | Tigers Tamed |
| Assassinations Plotted | Bars Emptied |
| Governments Run | Computers Verified |
| Uprisings Quelled | Orgies Organized |
I found this business card in an old book that I bought at a book sale. So I never met the person who made the card, and the mystery behind the business card remains intact. How many uncreative (boring) business cards have you seen in your life? This business card illustrates that a little bit of creativity can go a long way towards sticking in someone’s mind.
Related Posts:- Business cards
I'm getting stuff together for Pubcon. I've got a USB drive, a long-ass ethernet cable for Wi-Fi unfriendly hotel rooms, cell phone charger, breath mints,...
Gsimerlink Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 9:21 am
Sounds like an interesting person...or at least in his imagination. I had a friend who had cards similar to that one, years ago in college. It lends a nice aura of mystery to a person.
Peter Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 9:59 am
Nice bit of lateral thinking. Thanks for reminding me that I need to revamp my card, although not to that extent!
adeibiza Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:01 am
i’ve seen that card before - a friend of mine had one like that a few years ago - needless to say he moved here from the states..
Willy B Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:07 am
I know a country in Asian that may want the services in the lower left, oh wait, they’re rich enough now to do it like America does it. Reminds me of cowboy and Indians. And may I digress? Seems the Asian country which I refer unspoken, is the US of last century. Seems America may become the UK of that golden century. Does that mean the current president will teach at a major university there once he leaves office?
Ciro Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:07 am
I suppose you already did a Google search and discovered that there is a car dealer with that company name in Flushing, New York... Sadly, no web site!
Hart Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:08 am
I once saw a card that listed so many titles that they had to be continued on the back of the card
SEOMike Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:08 am
“Bars Emptied.” I wonder if that goes hand-in-hand with “Tigers Tamed.” On second thought, it’s probably related to a loud offering of “stud service.”
Corey Smith Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:09 am
Sounds like he is trying to be a jack of all trades. I would think that if you intend to dabble in many things and don’t focus on one thing, it is not such a bad idea to go overboard and really get noticed.
David Saunders Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:39 am
I have one very similar that goes back to when I was in my native England and was a Publican - yes I had a pub in the City of Bath before the www got me.
Mine had a few differing “heroic points” like Virgins Converted and Crocodiles Castrated.
I have one card left (dates back to 1989) and will get it scanned if you want to publish it Matt
There are a few other amusing “deeds” on the card - “bars quaffed dry” was one - I left no illusion as to who the card belonged to nor my phone # as I was single back then and had the coolest pub in town
David
pst: email me if you want a copy - Radically Transparent David in NC
Paul Keene Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:44 am
I’ve never laughed so much.
As it happens today we were deciding on what to print on the back of our new business cards....
You’ve given me some great ideas!
Kevin Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:46 am
i love this one http://creativebits.org/files/126896311_2f40f4a8b0.jpg
David Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 11:02 am
Looks spammy - is it cloaked too?
Phantombookman Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 11:15 am
Looks like the world’s first keyword spammer
Kevin Fox Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 11:17 am
Anyone notice the complete lack of contact information? If you don’t know how to contact him, I suppose you’re not supposed to.
Jaan Kanellis Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 12:34 pm
Jack of all trades, master of none.
Peter (IMC) Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
” This business card illustrates that a little bit of creativity can go a long way towards sticking in someone’s mind.”
Yeah if you want to associate your self with those kind of words,..
Creative way to get some attention to your blog though.
Lori Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 12:40 pm
just fyi, there used to be vending machines with templates for various different novelty business cards like these - you would laboriously set the name, put in your coins, wait a minute and the card would pop out. that’s why there’s no phone #. it’s a novelty card.
Dan Perry Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Wow, that’s awesome.
Nowadays, I think the moo’s, using Flickr images, make some pretty awesome business cards. Check them out at http://www.moo.com, and no, I have no affiliation; I just think they’re great.
Mark Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
Perhaps this card borrows a tune from the “Alpha’s Assassins” sign pictured in this Viet Nam-era military photo: http://www.emilydd.com/Tan_Tru_2/tt24.htm
Such ironic swagger makes all the more sense in in this context.
Bruce Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
The card would definitely draw some laughs I think and be memorable. I loved it and laughed out loud, but I don’t think anyone could ever use something like that in seriousness. It would certainly be memorable, but I am not quite sure if that is the way I would want to be remembered.
Dan C Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 1:54 pm
Got to be careful with the third down on the left hand list, these days, even in jest, you might get a visit from the men in black coats (and I don’t mean Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones)
eCarlos Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 3:21 pm
Brilliant. Allthoug the “Consultant” title on my card just now seems so meaningless:)
Jonah Stein Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 4:00 pm
Great card, but you would think an email address or screen name would be helpful.
Come to think of it, Matt, you could add each of those to your card. I imagine you will rank #1 for a couple of those phrased within a week. Fly Swatter is probably the best choice to describe your job, but where is the humor in that.
I guess it’s time to link to your blog with the anchor of “Stud Service”
Nathan Zeldes Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 6:13 pm
At the exact opposite end of the verbosity spectrum (and of the pretentiousness one, I guess :-), I describe an old Victorian-style “visiting card” my grandma had used... see http://www.nzeldes.com/Miscellany/VCard.htm . The only thing needed then was your name...
BTW, that’s a nice spam protection method you use!...
Beau Raines Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
One of my soldiers had a card like this many years ago. And the thing is, he had done most of those things, too.
Jerry West Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
If only it said “SEO” or “Web Designer” would it truly be perfect.
Dave (original) Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
Matt, I don’t see any contact details on that business card. Did you edit them out so nobody can call them to find out which services you used?
Michael D Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
More new keywords for you to rank for in your blog.Let’s see how long before you show up for “Assassinations Plotted” or “Orgies Organized.”
Time to update my card.
Niyaz PK Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 9:47 pm
Ha ha.
I am going to make a killer business crad now.
Jeff.M Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 9:57 pm
Here is something similar but also interesting . He was SF in Vietnam. Met him years ago and he was a character. http://s263.photobucket.com/albums/ii121/jpmarq/?action=view¤t=VernCard.jpg
Greg Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:22 pm
Right now my card should say:
Sniffles Sniffed
Coughs Dropped
Chickens Souped
Greg Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:30 pm
Sorry to double-post, but I ran the “headline” through Google and found a Ken Jennings (Jeopardy champ) blog entry from October 2006 where he quotes a 1972 article from Sports Illustrated: “Trivia player Bob Hanson of Atlanta is a genial ‘independent insurance adjuster’ who writes mocking crank letters to racist politicians and carries a business card identifying him as a purveyor of ‘land, whiskey, manure, nails, flyswatters, racing forms and bongos.’”
Ankit Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 10:40 pm
Lol .. keyword spamming on visiting cards =]
purposeinc Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 11:02 pm
Sorry to get all serious, which I know I am not famous for.
This post actually answers a question I have had about bad neighborhood type words and phrases in a white hat site.
When I wrote about the poker tournament last year, I kept wondering if even though the site was all white hat, linked to white hat sites, and was linked to from white hat site, since it did start off just talking about poker, it might be considered a bad site..
So just the fact that you now have crawlable, the words and phrases “orgies” and “stud service” on your site is a bit of valuable data. You could have just left it as a jpg, but instead chose to turn it into editable text.
It either is a strong indicator that words alone do not a bad site make, or that you just completed the third service down on the second column
dk
Matt Cutts Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 11:45 pm
It’s wild to me that this particular content predates the web. By a decade or two.
It would be neat to try to track down where this started, but the answer may be lost in the mists of time.
Michael Lopez Said,
March 18, 2008 @ 11:55 pm
Looks like they don’t have telephones yet back then?
Wulffy Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 1:57 am
That’s the right way for bloggers. Not only dry stuff and information. This business card is really funny and it causes a smile at anybody’s face. Thanks, Matt.
Dario Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 4:46 am
I have to disagree with your linkbaity title there, Matt.
I think that Kevin Mitnik (yes, the hacker) has the best and most creative business card ever.
He works as a security consultant (I think) and his card has a discardable lock pick!
Here’s an image:
Dario Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 4:47 am
Whoops, the image didn’t show. Here’s the URL:
http://www.yaccovijn.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/mitnick1.jpg
Xianhong Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 5:33 am
Really interest! how can i find them?
Maurice Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 6:25 am
Rear of business cards is of course for your RFC 1685 email address though I preferred having the x.400 email address rendered in a more hierarchal way eg start with country
Back in the day If I had been a bit naughty I could have probably got a very nice x.400 address possibly something like C=UK G=Maurice (one of the perks of working for the UK’s ADMD)
I have seen similar calling cards used by military units for psychological reasons we only have to get worried if the Google page rank bar starts displaying the Ace of spades instead of a green bar
Joe Woods Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 6:50 am
LOL...I saw the same card when I was in the Marines, but it had the Eagle, Globe and Anchor on it and said United States Marines. Seemed pretty fitting considering the Marine Corps history.
Cale Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 7:58 am
I was handed a card by a tree trimmer a few weeks ago which read “Vetinarian/Taxidermist, One way or another you get your dog back.” He called it his “funny card.”
http://www.midnightcheese.com/?p=526
Scott Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 8:31 am
I was going to say “spam” as well. Some what topically optimized in the lower right and left sides though...
Search Engine Optimization Journal Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 8:41 am
This is a great business card and even cooler that you found it lingering in an old book! What a way to be remembered! Although contact information would be an important addition. Thanks for sharing!
mark Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 9:17 am
lol, that card made no sense.
Chilli Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 9:50 am
This would have worked so well in the American Psycho scene where he drops the business cards on the table...
Hmmm might get photoshopping on that one!
Morris Rosenthal Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 10:38 am
Matt,
Could be clever viral marketing. Print up business cards, age them in the dryer with poker chips and wander through used bookstores sticking them in books. Well, maybe not, but if you went to the trouble of Googling any of it out of curiosity, there’s promise in the approach.
Morris
bkseo Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 12:12 pm
It looks like Google’s homepage. Simple and boring ...
Rocket Spider Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
I recently came across cards with title “Chief Massive Action Officer” and “Chief Entertainment Officer” - both for the same person. I found it quite funny.
Doug S Said,
March 19, 2008 @ 6:45 pm
If someone linked all the items on this business card to separate sites, they’d be quickly getting filtered for selling paid links.
Wez Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 12:51 am
Interesting find Matt,
I must admit, it puts me to shame, I’m only an expert on dating, relationships, taxidermy and automotive repair.
But, I suppose everyone needs their little niche - perhaps I should branch out into assassinations.
Regards
- Wez
lb Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 2:29 am
uh. the people who want to trace the fascinating history of this card understand it’s an item commonly available at joke shops right? you can have them printed with whatever text you want.
everyone in my high school had a version of this (for about 6 months). mine read “Celibacy Consultant.”
the lack of contact info is because no one is *actually* selling bongos, taming tigers etc. the whole thing is a gag and not a particularly historical or interesting one. sorry to be boring.
Thomas E Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 3:50 am
My favourite business card was from a lawyer, it said “donkeys filited while you wait”
Dan Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 4:22 am
Best part is, even though it’s memorable, you have no hope of contacting them. There’s no phone number or address on it!
Creative doesn’t always win out when you forget the key details. :p
Epic Fail Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 4:33 am
Fail - this is a re-make of an original made back in the early 70’s and he screwed it up.
Missing:
Revivals Led
Virgins Converted
at the least, I shall have to find mine and scan it
Hampstead Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 5:03 am
These cards were all over the UK in the 80s.
As far as I can remember the words at the bottom were standard. The wording across the top, the company name and the persons name were all personalised.
They were bought from machines usually found in film developing shops.
gruntled Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 5:41 am
Any Robert A. Heinlein readers here? I recall seeing that same sort of construction in one of the Heinlein books about the man who lived 1,000 years, which means this sort of card has been around in the States for at least sixty years...unless of course Heinlein invented it for the book and then somebody started printing them.
greatsage Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 5:49 am
The origins of this card are in the works of sci fi author Heinlein I believe. I can’t remember which book exactly (number of the beast?), but it features the (almost) immortal Lazarus Long and a huge party attended by inter-dimensional celebrities and ancient Gods - Norse in particular I think. One character has a business card which is saintly on one side and satanic on the other... has to be the source I think. Very old too.
Robert Seddon Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 6:59 am
From the world of fiction (P.G. Wodehouse, ):
LEAVE IT TO PSMITH!
Psmith Will Help You
Psmith Is Ready For Anything
DO YOU WANT
Someone To Manage Your Affairs?
Someone To Handle Your Business?
Some To Take The Dog For A Run?
Someone To Assassinate Your Aunt?
PSMITH WILL DO IT
CRIME NOT OBJECTED TO
Whatever Job You Have To Offer
(Provided It Has Nothing To Do With Fish)
LEAVE IT TO PSMITH!
Otto Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 7:50 am
The text above and below the name is particularly old, I’ve seen it referenced/made fun of in old books before. As I recall, it was popular sometime in the 1930’s-50’s, but probably predates even that.
Here’s a 2001 mention of a guy with the same sort of thing on his card at the Utah State Fair:
http://www.utah.com/schmerker/2001/state_fair.htm
Google for “Used Cars, Land, Whisky, Manure” and you’ll find several references to it, all over.
Chuck Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 8:07 am
I worked for Kinkos and we used to print these all the time for various people. We even redesigned the layout a bit to add a special seal and insignia. Always got a kick out of them. Great post!
David Saunders Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 10:29 am
For me it was an early form of target marketing as I was recently divorced had the best pub in town and consequently “carded’ all the Ladies that caught my eye - it actually worked and the Ladies always got a laugh out of it plus I had a lively dating life....
I also had on mine Vindaloo Scoffed - I must scan it and publish it.
I gave the card to my now wife who was an American tourist from San Mateo, CA and she thought it was so amusing we ended up getting married and being soul mates.....
Now where can I go to get this scanned?
David Saunders Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 10:33 am
I may have some new ones printed - Google Gamed - Yahoo Yanked - MSN Manured - Bloggers Flogged - Calcanis Crashed - Mate of Matt - Vanessa Voloptuos - any ideas ??? Ignorer of Trends -
This is a definite go for me.
betsy Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 12:29 pm
what book did you find the card in?
SEO Brad Said,
March 20, 2008 @ 12:38 pm
That W.W. Green gets around.
Here is a report he wrote on the effectof sex on a pig http://jas.fass.org/cgi/reprint/4/1/55.pdf . I guess the stud service is panning out.
Brad
Jonah Stein Said,
March 21, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
Matt:
You made the first page for Stud Service and that was a single link from an obscure blog.
http://www.google.com/search?q=stud%20service
Matthew Anderson Said,
March 21, 2008 @ 2:46 pm
Next time Matt, don’t post some random business card you found in a book.
Instead: Pose a question based on any number of wild n weird theories and see what your adoring public can dig up for you. The end of the world is near! No. It’s 45732457 days away.
Perhaps soon you will have a user driven search engine where your blogs commenter’s spew out relevant answers dependant on your input. Oops, we already appear to have that.
On a different note. What was the book?
Deb Said,
March 22, 2008 @ 4:14 am
Matt
Long live - W. W. Green.............
Deb
Multi-Worded Adam Said,
March 22, 2008 @ 8:42 am
Actually, Matthew Anderson, the world is supposed to blow up in 2012. The Breatharian Institute of America and Mr. Wiley Brooks has taught us that. This guy’s actually been on the radio (a show called Coast to Coast with George Noory) talking about this stuff.
Now that’s a great cult.
Fernando Said,
March 23, 2008 @ 1:45 am
It makes me think that my life is too boring. I feel so depressed! rsrsrs
Aaron Shear Said,
March 24, 2008 @ 12:13 am
Funny this reminds me of a co-worker at Inktomi who put in the title of “Cubicle Occupant”, one of the funniest cards I have ever seen. Up until this one, however a single title is a little more humorous than so many.
Jim In Summit NJ Said,
March 25, 2008 @ 6:05 pm
I love it, just love it. where can I hire this guy? I am sure I can find something for him to do.
David Jacques-Louis Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 11:56 am
Google Groups RSS Failure
None of google groups rss is working. Never has. Any solution for that?
http://discuss.pipes.yahoo.com/Message_Boards_for_Pipes/threadview?m=tm&bn=pip-DeveloperHelp&tid=3910&mid=3910&tof=1&frt=2
Kim-Seo Results Said,
March 30, 2008 @ 10:52 pm
What a creative mind, love it
JC Said,
April 8, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
It was a popular thing back in the 50’s? My grandpa’s business card had the exact same phrases on it (he owned a bar) although the lay out was a little different and his name wasn’t Green. My dad has a stack of them that were handed down when he died. I was actually thinking about this a week ago trying to remember all of the little phrases, I couldn’t remember any of the lines except “orgies organized”.
David Saunders Said,
April 22, 2008 @ 8:44 am
My “old” business card found and scanned at last
http://picasaweb.google.com/seocharlotte/SamWellersBath/photo#5192094407339212962
Mark Marston Said,
June 5, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
May I humbly present our laminated style business cards. Our customers tell us these are the best business cards and that when they hand them out, the most common response is, “Wow! Nice card. Can I keep it?”
Here is the link: http://www.bestbusinesscards.com
Josh Said,
June 30, 2008 @ 11:15 pm
He sounds like a good friend to know as he does a little of everything. Expectially with that last one.