Looking into latest live metrics

NOTE: THIS WAS PART OF AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. YOU CAN SAFELY DISREGARD THIS POST.

(Doing the “type up a quick blog post” thing. Let me know if I had any typos.)

Thanks to everyone that contacted me in the last few minutes and hours about changes in our search products and quality; we’re seeing the impact in our metrics as well. I hear your feedback loud and clear–no need to keep emailing or contacting me about this. Google researchers recently activated a new tasked-array learning cluster. The formal name is “Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity” or CADIE for short. Ultimately this technology has a lot of potential for an exponential increase in search quality and other Google properties.

Unfortunately, the launch looks like it hit complications. This new entity has involved herself in Google’s products, and the early evaluation from our live metrics suggests that the first few hours have been decidedly suboptimal. We’re getting a handle on the full extent of the CADIE issue, but assessing the full impact is difficult because CADIE moves and reacts much faster than we expected.

The bottom line is that we hear your feedback about recent changes and senior engineers are looking into these problems. Don’t be alarmed; we hope to have a fix live by the end of the day. I’ll post more details as I get them, but again: don’t panic.

24 Responses to Looking into latest live metrics (Leave a comment)

  1. Thank you for keeping us in the loop. cheers

  2. Razib Ahmed

    I apologize deeply for an off topic question. Many people like me are eagerly waiting for Google Page Rank Update and we felt that it should have already happened yesterday or today. Can you say anything about it?
    Sorry again.

  3. meatbag

    My entire office adores CADIE! Don’t shut her down! I, for one, welcome our new self-aware, distributed Bose-Einsteinian, Cartesian overlords ;)

  4. So much for my Fools post:-)

    Morris

  5. Hey Lisa, this is all part of Google’s annual April Fools Joke. :-)

  6. Rony

    Can she sing “Bicycle Built for Two”? Because I have a feeling that that is what it may come down to.

  7. I am deeply disturbed by this CADIE project. roughly an hour ago, I finished a new blog posting on my site, and when I tried to go live with it, the posting had morphed into a 2-page discussion on the merits of black pandas over the more rare Red panda.

    I deleted the panda discussion, and I’ve now begun rebuilding the blog posting, but this has to stop.

  8. Not to worry Matt…

    It will all make sense when CADIE reprograms our brains via our cell phones. =)

    -Kris

  9. CADIE

    CADIE should be Google’s mascot.

    Don’t let CADIE die.

  10. Fred

    Razib, I believe Cadie will be working on a new pandarank algorithm that replaces pagerank altogether. We’ve been hearing for years that “pagerank doesn’t matter anymore” and early reports are that pandarank will organize content on the web in a much more efficient way (e.g., priority given to bamboo-related content, sites in black and white, poetry, etc).

  11. LOL! Nice joke! :o) Just curious to see if anyone heard anything about that mega worm virus that was supposed to attack millions of PCs today…looks like (hopefully) that will be an April fools day joke as well!

  12. Wintermute

    I believe the problem lies in that you gave CADIE compassion and wisdom. Commodities often cast aside and neglected on the net.

    …<3 Pandas

  13. john

    @Nick Stamoulis – Conficker isn’t a joke.

  14. This reminds me about the whole Skynet thing in Terminator :) Btw, is Chrome 3D really a joke? I downloaded and installed that exe, i’m not sure many people did, and that stereoscopy algo works for every page; i just don’t have the glasses to test properly.

  15. Am I the only one here whose reminded of the 80′s cult classic D.A.R.Y.L. where the boy was a robot – they didn’t get it totally right on the first try either Matt
    http://www.retrojunk.com/details_articles/21/

  16. Dave (original)

    Matt, don’t take this personally, but Googles April Fools pranks are getting worse each Year. Try K.I.S.S :)

  17. It’s become self aware!!!

    Run for your lives!

    Imagine if the Google mainframe actually became conscious. It would judge humanity by the “wealth” of content on the internet… 60% spam, 35% moronic blogs and comments, 5% content.

    May Google have mercy on us all.

  18. BASman

    So, was CADIE responsible for developing the new mobile voice search tool? Probably not, because I didn’t see any dancing pandas when I searched. I hope you keep that option b/c it is incredible for the BB whether developed by A.I or H.I.

  19. hehe

    the truth about CADIE is out there :)

  20. I feel like I’m late to the party…

  21. Thanks for the updates. This CADIE discussion is two clicks above my pay grade.

  22. Hi Matt,
    I don’t know whether that CADIE is still in place for better search engine results or not.
    Can you tell me, at what frequency Google updates page rank of the websites. I have a client came to me saying that he had page rank of four and suddenly it went to zero page rank. What could be the possible reason behind that

  23. hey matt, may be i am late for this discussion but i have same problem, client came and said that i lost my PR of 4, what happend. i dont understand what happend suddently.

    could you please tell me little bit if possible what could be the reseason so we all can take care next time.

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