Business cards

I’m getting stuff together for Pubcon. I’ve got a USB drive, a long-ass ethernet cable for Wi-Fi unfriendly hotel rooms, cell phone charger, breath mints, a bitchin’ laser pointer, and plenty of mini notebooks for writing down feedback. I have Bejeweled on my cell phone for wasting time in airport lines. You’d think I’m 100% ready, but I’m not.

The one thing I don’t have is business cards; lately, I never have business cards at conferences. My initial batch ran out a year or two ago, and I never bothered getting more. Googlers can order them with almost any job title, and I’ve been struck with business card writer’s block. Should I just go with the tried-and-true but generic title of Software Engineer? Or I could put something more out there, like “The guy who knows the spam you made last summer” or “Whitehat.” I’ll figure it out, but what do you think I should put on my business cards? And am I missing anything important for my travels in the next couple weeks?

60 Responses to Business cards (Leave a comment)

  1. Harith

    Hi Matt

    I guess its very nice for the people you meet to know your academic background. Therefore always having ” Software Engineer” somewhere on your business cards is necessary. Maybe you can write something like:

    Matt Cutts
    Software Engineer / Spam Killer :-)

    Have a great day and a successful trip to Vegas.

  2. BP

    Matt “Freaking” Cutts
    If You Don’t Know Who I Am, You Should Be In Another Line of Work
    (415) DIE-SPAM
    jagger1.2.3@google.com
    GooglePlex, CA

    I think that sets the tone.

  3. You are missing tranquilzer pills for when Brett asks you questions and you don’t know the answer, just pop one in your mouth… no one will remember the question, just that you insanely fell head first at pubcon.

    As for the business card, isn’t that a bit too overdone? You should try something unique like business balloons or go for the children’s favorite business pencil/pen. If you do decide to go for the business card, make it classy and buy a spider monkey to sit by your door and hand out the cards while you watch Commander in Chief in your room.

  4. (Oh dear! I broke your comment box; looks like the two face-to-face chevrons eat the HTML parser. Oh for a preview button! I was trying to say…)

    I came this — close to having “Geek” on my business card. I would have handed it out like a badge of honour. I wimped out at the last minute just in case the title wouldn’t go down well with some of our more corporate clients.

    If it appeals then you too could carry the “Geek” badge with pride. I strongly doubt Google has any fear of weirding out corporate clients.

    Other suggestions include:
    + Spam Hunter
    + Safe Searcher
    + Index Engineer
    + Spam Terminator
    + Spaminator
    + Index Ambience Mastermind
    + Lord Whitehat
    + You Shall Know Me For The Trail Of Defeated Spam Sites In My Wake
    + YSKMFTTODSSIMW

  5. Matt

    A spider monkey! Why didn’t I think of that? I could dress him up in formal suits, maybe even train him to go to a few meetings for me. And I could get him some cute Hawaiian shirts for casual Fridays. Gary, I think you’re on to something here. http://www.spidermonkeybusinesscards.com is still available, too.

    Harith and BP, I like your suggestions too. :)

  6. Las Vegas, Huh! When will the conference be in Thailand?

    They should have live telecast on the net.

  7. Hi Matt,

    I think a b.card should represent your personality and business you’re in. Not to get too serious here, but what are the goals of the card? Most cards people look at and bin once your back is turned – they might take your email or phone number off it if you’re lucky. If that’s your goal then it doesn’t matter what type of card you get.

    My goal, for example, is to make a card that people will pass on. So it has to be memorable, different or useful. Hopefully the person I give the card to will look at it and think ‘Cool … I must show that to x, y or z’. Since Word of Mouth is how I get most of my business, that’s what I want!

    So what’s your goal? Make people laugh? Get peers to your blog or RSS feed? When you know what you want to card to achieve it’s so much easier decide what to put on it.

  8. Chris_D

    Matt – I thought that you would have specially printed up some cards for Pubcon Vegas – with just your new nic – no name – no title… just….

    Mick Jagger of Search
    :)

  9. OMG – place your bets on how long before someone registers ‘spidermonkeybusinesscards.com’ ;)

    Tick… tick… tick…

  10. Olaf

    Feel free to use my bank account on the card, light gray small fontsize on white background would be nice.

  11. Jason

    “Search Engine Pimp”

    See ya at Pubcon man ;)

  12. rite

    Hi Matt,

    that “Software Engineer” is useful on the busycards, sounds respectable.

    But shouldn’t you also mention sumthing about offering (one of) the first reliable internal Google source on the web and thus having to deal with all them desparate spammers, sumthing like

    Matt Cutts
    Software Engineer and Senior Webmaster Shrink ;-)

    SCNR,
    rite.

  13. “Should I just go with the tried-and-true but generic title of Software Engineer”?

    I would market the name “Matt Cutts” this way if you ever leave Google you can take yourself with you. :)

    -AP

  14. AndrewN

    Title withheld for security purposes.

  15. Sorry to off topic from everyone else but where can I get Bejeweled for the cellphone. Now *that* would pass the time quite nicely while waiting for the business cards to be printed :)

  16. Matt Cutts, Version 1-uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    (Wait, that’s taken)

    Matt Cutts

    Vice-President in Charge of Google’s Human Face

    Nah, that kinda sucks.

    Matt Cutts

    Your Own Personal e-Jesus
    Someone to hear your search prayers, someone who cares.

    Yeah. That sounds cool.

  17. I like

    Software Engineer and Spaminator

    along with a picuture of a can of Spam with an X through it!

  18. VJ

    Matt Cutts
    Lead Software Engineer
    A Cutt above the rest

    Hee hee. How’s that?! lol.

  19. Chris_Y

    How about

    Matt Cutts
    Spammers bank balances

  20. I am rather famous for getting biz cards prepped, then forgetting them. Heather of Jim will tell you.

    Matt, I would invest in a travel router for wi-fi. I use the linksis which works fine and has a travel design you can easily pack it. I think it was around $100. Typical security stuff too. My fav is meda access filter and turn off the SSID broadcast.

    With wi-fi on the road, you can take your laptop all over the room. We’ve ended up in some big rooms and that is very handy – trust me. I can share the connection with Heather too, which is hugely important for us. We’re both online at the same time whenever we go online in the room. Without a router, a single wired connection is just a giant pain.

    Best,
    -detlev

  21. panini

    my favorite was always ‘it’s a pleasure to work with me’ l

  22. Put whatever you want on your card….just don’t use hidden text :-)

  23. Dave Anderson

    Since it is for Pubcon, don’t do anything serious. Hell, change them for every conference to make them collectable.

    The last business cards I ever had were for Comdex 89. I went with a title of “Fat hog at the trough” . The engineers and most executives loved it and it confused the hell out of the sales slugs. In other words, it was perfect.

  24. Shouldn’t it be something like:

    Software Engineer
    <– All your Spam are belong to us –>

  25. JR

    Matt,

    I picked up these two from a fellow traveller:

    1/ LED flashlight, you never know when the power will go out.
    2/ A deck of cards. Great ice breaker and all around time sink.

    Good luck!

    JR

  26. Russell

    Hi Matt, hope you enjoy Vagas

    Michael, u dont know how i am suffering from the removal of my site from the index for some stupid hidden text on a page since Oct 27, reading your post is the first time iv smiled since then. Thank you. Maybe the card should not be a fold over since it might be see as a bad redirect.

    Matt Cutts
    Senior Software engineer for cutting out the spam

  27. How about:
    Matt Cutts, a.k.a.
    Inego Montoya
    “You spammed my search engine, prepare to die”

    One thing you might want to add to your list is something like SnapPhone. It allows you to use your cellphone as a modem to connect to the internet (or send faxes). It is not the greatest connection, but i you are in an internetless area in can help pass the time.

    Hope you enjoy yourself there.

  28. Title: 30 Days to Google’s Top 10…I Guarantee it!

  29. Why not “Google Guy”?

  30. Why don’t you give your title a good ol’ spamming?

    Matt Cutts
    mesothelioma travel insurance credit cards loans
    ;-)

  31. My vote is for Whitehat.
    Simple. Straightforward. Powerful.

  32. What about -

    Matt Cutts
    Software-Engineer-Mortgage-Advisor-Poster-Retailer-Insurance-Broker-You-Name-It-I’ll-Do-It-Hello-my-name-is-Inigo-Montoya.-You-killed-my-father.-Prepare-to-die.

  33. Seems obvious to me:

    Matt Cutts
    aka Inigo Montoya

  34. Matt Cutts
    Quailty Control (Beta)

  35. M a t t C u t t s, rel=”nofollow”
    SANDBOX CITY

  36. Spam Assassin? Too bad that’s an apache project…how about

    Exterminator & Pest Control?

    I like the idea of keyword stuffing the business card mentioned above…

  37. It depends on whether you want to come across as pro or as a bit of a laugh. Perhaps getting two batches made up, one with the generic title Software Engineer and the other Googleicious Matt Cutts.

  38. rob

    How bout..

    Matt Cutts (SPAM *)

    * Superfluous Page Attack Machine

  39. Peter

    McGoogle (if you have some irish blood)

  40. Content Sheriff

    Elliot Ness v. The Black Hats

    G-Man …haha…hey, that’s good ;-)

  41. H4X0R e1E3T

    K-kEwL Hax0r

    31337 soFTwArE ReVIEwEr

    haha…got those from the Haxor Brothers ;-)

  42. How about this from cDc #200:

    Higgledy-Piggledy-Big-Fat-Henacious-Mega-Mackadocious You-Can’t-Even-Come-Close-So-Jump-Back-K-B00MIDY-B00MIDY-B00M Spam Figher

  43. We actually had someone whose title was just “Tech Guy”

  44. Chrissie

    Matt, you don’t need a b-card.
    We all know exactly who you are!!

  45. Bulldog

    Here is a couple suggestions:
    Rock Star! (which is what the folks at the LV convention center thought you were, with the crowds around you)

    or

    FireHazard! (which is what I had to call you as no one could pass you and the crowds around you after your coffee talkat PubCon.)

  46. I like Matt’s original, “The guy who knows the spam you made last summer”. That is hilarious.

    How about “The REAL SEO Guy”???? Haha.

    I don’t think it would be exagerating to call yourself “Google’s Smartest Move Yet” or something similar. They couldn’t have picked a better one.

    If anyone has had any thoughts about attending a seminar with Matt appearing, DO IT. Just meeting and hearing him for 2 days was well worth it.

    Jan

  47. What title should I use on my business card which will be for SEO business..

    SEO Expert–> A lot of ppl do not have any idea about SEO…
    Search Engine Optimization Expert–> too long ? still not clear for some ppl ..
    I need something simple and effective….
    Online Marketing………..? sounds too cheap…….

    Any Idea ?

    Thanks
    Troy

  48. Just keep it simple:

    Mackadocious K-kEwL G-Man ;-)

  49. John

    I know this post is ancient, but I really couldn’t resist.

    Business Card Title: Spamurai

  50. matt,I couldn’t find a contact email to send to you directly, so I guess I will post this here so ya know… by the way,I agree completely with the 8am thing, the only time that I do 8am meettings is if I am still up from the night before and 8am meeting is a really, really, late meeting..email I sent earlierto the senior editor at directmag.com…

    —–
    in the article
    http://directmag.com/searchline/1-25-06-Google-BigDaddy/index.html

    you all state that chief search enigneer at yahoo, Matt cutts, talks about google on his blog..

    umm… Matt Cutts is one of the main alogorythm guys at google, not yahoo…I am also not sure that the title main search enginerr is appropriate- you’d have to ask him what his exact title is, but he has considered title’s for his new biz card that include spam fighter, main spam hunter, etc… (http://www.mattcutts.com/blog/business-cards/ )

    thought ya’ll should know, since many people will be reading this, or already have!

    Steve Bryant
    Global Advanced Media

  51. how about Digital Marketing?

  52. Spamuraj? What that’s?

  53. I will leave it up to you to decide what to put on the card but being familiar with what you do i would have to go with

    “If You Don’t Know Who I Am, You Should Be In Another Line of Work”

    On the production side, i would love to print your business cards for you if you dont already have it handled.

    I print all business cards on super premium 16pt stock and in full color both sides.

    I know you will love the quality of my work.,

    How about 5000 full color business cards for $125.00

    To print your card Matt, would be like the highlight of my year so i will even include free shipping.

    If you are interested call me or visit me on the web.

    Eling M Orton
    1-800-281-0589
    http://www.full-color-postcards.com

  54. So Matt, so what ever happened with the business cards? I want to know what your title is. “The guy who knows the spam you made last summer” would be a decent choice. Only at google can you get away with that stuff. =)

  55. Matt, I’d like to know what your business cards said as well. Maybe you should create some that say “Yahoo! Vice President” on them just to start some rumors!

  56. yeah as mentioned befre it should be something personal but also unique and also something which would stand out, something which would make you want to keep the card yourself, also try a few samples of different ones, and hand them out to your friends and coluges and see what they think about it

  57. It’s good to find this post 5 years after the fact and click on a few spammy looking business card sites. What’s even more interesting that some of the spammers even have PageRank after drive by blogging on this site. I hoped that they would have been drowned so far down the quick sand (in a box) that even page 99 would not give them. It’s almost as bad as anywhere I turn I am bombarded with a free offer for a business card, only if I sell my soul in exchange to advertise the company’s logo on a reverse side of my card to some Bermuda based company.

    Your main card-iologist.

    P.S. Matt, did you end up getting the card that said “Google me”?

  58. “The guy who knows the spam you made last summer” Haha good one. I’d say go with the Generic title though or put that title in your business card’s back info. The guy who knows the spam bit can be something that makes the recipient laugh and remember you but you need to let them know what you really do as well.

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